


since day one

by chewhy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27285253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chewhy/pseuds/chewhy
Summary: “Thank god, Akaashi! It really took you long enough, huh? This wasn’t working out. It was never going to work out, not since day one,” Bokuto gasped out between laughs.bokuaka angst drabble that was just supposed to be a headcanon for the bokuaka bang discord lol
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 15





	since day one

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote dis in like 3 seconds in the discord chat but then it was too long so here

Here's the thing. They did it! Akaashi worked up the nerve to confess to Bokuto in his last year, Bokuto laughed and laughed while Akaashi stood there confused until he finally caught his breath and said "Thank god, Akaashi! It took you long enough, I've been in love with you since day one!" and he lifted Akaashi up by the waist with absolutely no effort and twirled him around until they were both laughing so hard they collapsed on the floor, peppering kisses all over each others' face in between stuttered breaths. 

Eventually, they moved in together because that's what perfect couples do. They cooked together, cleaned together. It was just so domestic and right and _perfect_. 

So then why... did Akaashi feel like he was missing out on something more? He went to work, came home. He sighed as he bent down to pick up Bokuto's discarded sweaty gym clothes off the floor, even after he'd sent message after message to him to _please_ pick up after himself. Bokuto's dishes were still sitting in the kitchen sink, too, and Akaashi wasn't sure why it just set him off in that moment, but he picked up a pan, ready to fling it across the room before he just... stopped. Looked at himself. Realized something was wrong. 

That night, he cooked dinner for one. Normally, on days that Bokuto had late night practices, he could always expect to come home to a nice, hot meal waiting for him. Tonight, the apartment was dark. Bokuto stumbled through the living room until his fingers found a lightswitch. He flicked it on, expecting to maybe see Akaashi had fallen asleep reading at the couch again, but the living room was tidy. There were plates in the sink, but otherwise not a single thing was out of place. 

“Akaashi?” Bokuto called out softly, stepping into their bedroom. Stripping off his clothes, he crawled into bed and curled up against Akaashi’s back, only to blink in surprise when Akaashi flinched away. “Hey, Akaashi, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

Akaashi was silent for a few moments, the air only punctured by his shaky breaths. “Bokuto san,” he finally said, voice wobbling. Had he been crying?

He sat up and flicked on the light, standing up and stepping away as if he couldn’t stand to be near Bokuto’s touch anymore. 

“It’s over.”

Bokuto lay there, stunned, as the words slowly registered in his brain. “What?”

Akaashi shrugged, as if there was nothing more to add or say to that, because there simply wasn’t. 

“What do you mean it’s over? What’s over? What’s wrong, what can I do to fix it?”

Akaashi shook his head, staring resolutely down at his feet. “Nothing.”

There was nothing to fix, because nothing was wrong. Sometimes, you just fall out of love and there's no way to explain why, the same way you fell in love in the first place. All the traits that he once found endearing became annoyances. All those flaws that he thought he could love and encompass were one too many. 

"I'm sorry, Bokuto-san. I have to end it now, or I'm afraid I'll really grow to despise you. I can move out by the end of the week."

Bokuto sat there for a moment, just staring down at his hands. Akaashi could only see the top of his head; those gray streaks that he once found attractive now seemed so childish. They were shaking, and Akaashi felt, suddenly, that surge of protectiveness he remembered from their days on the court. He wanted to step forward and wipe away Bokuto’s tears, apologize for ever hurting him. 

Involuntarily, his right foot moved forward, only to stop when he heard Bokuto’s voice. 

“Ha…”

Was he...

“Hahahaha, ahahaha, ha!”

Laughing?

“Thank god, Akaashi! It really took you long enough, huh? This wasn’t working out. It was never going to work out, not since day one,” Bokuto gasped out between laughs. Akaashi didn’t notice the redness that rimmed Bokuto’s eyes or the way his hands curled into fists, clutching at the blankets. 

All he could do was nod as he let out a hollow laugh and walked away, pressing down the bitter sense of deja vu he felt from his first confession. 

He slept on the couch that night, separated from Bokuto by one measly door. Maybe, just maybe if the door had been left open, they would have heard one another, sobbing into their fist. 

“Why didn’t you hold me back? Why didn’t you make me stay, Bokuto san?”

“I’m so sorry that you’ve been hurting because of me. I’ll let you go, I won’t hurt you anymore, Akaashi.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [[twitter (ch3w2)](https://twitter.com/ch3w2)] and [[tumblr (ch3w2)](http://ch3w2.tumblr.com/)]!  
>  **kudos and comments always appreciated**
> 
> my carrd is [ch3w2.carrd.co](https://ch3w2.carrd.co/) for more information about requests


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